‫- PREVIOUSLY ON AWKWARD...
‫- YOU'VE BEEN SO SARAN-WRAPPED ‫AROUND JAKE,
‫YOU CAN'T EVEN SEE IT.
‫- I'M NOT CLINGY. ‫MATTY IS.
‫- NICE JOB, MCKIBBEN. ‫- WHAT?
‫- YOU WERE TOTALLY ‫SABOTAGING THEM.
‫- YOUR DAD LEFT TODAY.
‫- IT'S NOT JUST FOR A FEW DAYS, ‫IS IT?
‫- NO.
‫- POST MY PARENTS' SEPARATION,
‫I'D SPENT A LOT OF TIME ‫PLAYING THE BLAME GAME.
‫AND NINE TIMES OUT OF TEN,
‫THE ONUS OF THEIR SPLIT ‫LANDED ON ME.
‫I REGRETTED EVER SAYING ANYTHING ‫ABOUT THE LETTER,
‫AND I WAS CONSUMED ‫WITH GUILT.
‫SO I WAS WILLING ‫TO BE WITH ANYONE
‫AND DO ANYTHING TO AVOID FEELING ‫LIKE A BAD PERSON.
‫[organ playing]
‫*
‫MY MOM WAS ALSO LOOKING ‫FOR REDEMPTION.
‫AND WHILE OUR RELATIONSHIP ‫WAS STILL ON SHAKY GROUND,
‫SHE NEEDED ‫A LITTLE HAND-HOLDING,
‫WILLING OR OTHERWISE.
‫SHE WASN'T GOOD ‫AT BEING ALONE.
‫NOT THAT SHE EXCELLED ‫AT BEING IN PUBLIC EITHER.
‫- EVERYONE, PLEASE OPEN ‫YOUR BIBLES TO PSALM 46.
‫*
‫- OH, NO, THANK YOU.
‫- I THINK WE'RE ‫SUPPOSED TO PUT MONEY IN.
‫AT LEAST THERE WAS ‫ONE SAVING GRACE
‫TO GETTING UP EARLY ‫ON A SUNDAY.
‫[upbeat music]
‫*
‫- THIS WAS ENLIGHTENING, ‫BUT LET'S GO
‫BEFORE THE WELCOME COMMITTEE ‫TAKES US HOSTAGE.
‫- I PROBABLY SHOULD HAVE TRIED ‫TO SAVE MY MOM,
‫BUT SOMETIMES, ‫YOU JUST HAVE TO SAVE YOURSELF.
‫CHECK.
‫DOUBLE CHECK.
‫- JENNA!
‫[gasps] YOU HAVE TO COME ‫TO THE RETREAT.
‫ON SATURDAY NIGHT, THERE'S ‫A "SAINTS AND SINNERS" PARTY
‫THAT WE SECRETLY CALL ‫"HALOED BROS AND BIBLICAL HOS."
‫AND THEN ON THE SUNDAY, ‫JESUS FORGIVES ALL YOUR SINS,
‫AND THERE'S A TACO PARTY!
‫SO YOU GOING TO COME? ‫- HMM.
‫WHAT WOULD JENNA DO?
‫I'M THINKING ABOUT IT. ‫- [gasps]
‫- AND I WAS.
‫SINCE MY HOME NO LONGER ‫FELT LIKE A SAFE HAVEN,
‫I WAS OPEN TO EXPLORING GODS.
‫MAYBE IT WAS GOING ‫TO BE A NEW DAY.
‫- [gasps] PASTOR DON! ‫THIS IS JENNA.
‫SHE'S THE GIRL ‫WE'VE BEEN PRAYING FOR.
‫REMEMBER? THE HARLOT ‫WHO STOLE MY BOYFRIEND.
‫[ominous music]
‫- SCRATCH THAT. ‫IT WAS JUDGMENT DAY.
‫- YOU'RE GOING TO CHURCH CAMP? ‫WITH DIM SUM?
‫- IT'S A RETREAT, ‫WHICH I COULD REALLY USE,
‫GIVEN ALL THE CHAOS ‫GOING ON WITH MY PARENTS.
‫I THINK I NEED A LITTLE ‫SPIRITUAL GUIDANCE RIGHT NOW.
‫- WELL, IF THEY TELL YOU ‫TO DRINK THE KOOL-AID
‫AND TAKE A NAP, DON'T. ‫- IT'S A CHURCH, NOT A CULT.
‫- IF YOU WANT A RETREAT, ‫WHY NOT JUST HOLE UP WITH ME?
‫I'M GROUNDED FOR THE WEEKEND, SO ‫WE CAN DO BLAH-DI-NA TOGETHER.
‫- THANKS, BUT I REALLY NEED ‫TO CLEAR MY HEAD.
‫WHAT I'M GOING THROUGH ‫CAN'T BE FIXED
‫BY STUFFING MY FACE ‫IN A ROM-COM-ATHON.
‫AND WHY ARE YOU GROUNDED?
‫- 'CAUSE RICKY SCHWARTZ GOT ME ‫SUSPENDED AND RUINED MY LIFE!
‫- SUSPENSION. ‫NICE.
‫I LIKE PUNISHMENT.
‫- HEY, KYLE. ‫HOW'S YOUR BAND?
‫- JENNA LIVES? ‫WE BROKE UP.
‫STARTED GETTING ‫TOO MUCH ATTENTION
‫FROM THE MAINSTREAM, ‫YOU KNOW,
‫LIKE JOCKS, CLASS PRESIDENTS, ‫THAT TYPE.
‫I DIDN'T WANT ‫TO BE A SELLOUT.
‫- ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT JENNA?
‫- NO.
‫- HE WAS TOTALLY TALKING ‫ABOUT YOU.
‫I KNEW HE WAS A STALKER.
‫"TAKE IT OUTSIDE"?
‫WHERE HAVE ‫I HEARD THAT BEFORE?
‫- APPARENTLY, ‫I WASN'T THE ONLY ONE
‫WHO HAD LOST FAITH ‫IN MYSELF.
‫MY STALKER HAD TOO.
‫MAYBE IT WAS TIME ‫FOR A LITTLE DIVINE...
‫- INTERVENTION?
‫WHY DO I NEED AN INTERVENTION?
‫- BECAUSE YOUR "HOLIER ‫THAN THOU" BIT IS GETTING OLD.
‫I'M LOSING PATIENCE.
‫ISN'T FORGIVENESS ‫JESUS'S WHOLE DEAL?
‫I MEAN, HE DIDN'T JUDGE THAT ‫HOOKER WITH THE BURNING BUSH.
‫- SADIE, YOU MADE ME ‫DO EVIL THINGS,
‫AND NOW J.C. IS MAD AT ME.
‫THAT'S WHY ‫HE TOOK JAKE AWAY.
‫- NO. ‫JENNA TOOK JAKE AWAY.
‫- AND SHE'S REPENTING,
‫WHICH IS MORE ‫THAN I CAN SAY FOR YOU.
‫JENNA'S GOING TO MY CHURCH
‫AND PROBABLY COMING ‫TO MY RETREAT THIS WEEKEND.
‫- OF HER OWN VOLITION? ‫- YEAH.
‫I THINK WE'RE FINALLY ‫GOING TO BE FRIENDS.
‫MAYBE EVEN BEST FRIENDS.
‫- GOT A MINUTE? ‫- [gasps, sighs]
‫I ACTUALLY HAVE ‫ANOTHER APPOINTMENT,
‫BUT, UGH, THAT KID'S ‫A TOTAL SNOOZE.
‫SO, YEAH, HAVE A SEAT. ‫WHAT'S GOING ON?
‫- I'VE BEEN HAVING ‫A HARD TIME LATELY.
‫- ARE YOU OFF YOUR MEDS?
‫- I WAS NEVER ON THEM.
‫I'M DEPRESSED
‫BECAUSE MY PARENTS ‫ARE SEPARATED.
‫- YOUR DAD'S SINGLE? ‫- WHAT?
‫- THAT MUST BE HARD ‫FOR YOU.
‫I MEAN, CONSIDERING ‫HOW ATTRACTIVE HE IS.
‫OH, NOW YOU'RE GOING ‫TO HAVE TO COMPETE
‫WITH OTHER GIRLS ‫FOR HIS ATTENTION.
‫DO YOU THINK ‫HE LIKES THEM YOUNG,
‫OR IS HE INTO LADIES... ‫HIS OWN AGE?
‫- I DON'T KNOW, ‫AND I DON'T CARE.
‫WHAT I WANT IS FOR MY PARENTS ‫TO GET BACK TOGETHER.
‫I FEEL LIKE THEIR BREAKUP ‫IS MY FAULT,
‫AND IT MAKES ME ‫QUESTION WHO I AM.
‫- INTERNAL REFLECTION IS GOOD, ‫HELPS US MATURE.
‫- WHICH IS WHY I'M GOING ‫ON A CHURCH RETREAT.
‫- WITH BIBLE-THUMPERS?
‫- I THINK PUTTING MY WORRY ‫INTO A HIGHER POWER
‫WILL BRING ME SOME COMFORT, ‫YOU KNOW?
‫- J., DO NOT BE SEDUCED ‫BY THE DOUGHNUTS.
‫- IT'S NOT ‫ABOUT THE DOUGHNUTS.
‫IT WAS KIND OF ‫ABOUT THE DOUGHNUTS.
‫- LISTEN, WHEN I WAS YOUR AGE, ‫I GOT MIXED UP WITH A GROUP
‫OF "GOOD KIDS" TOO.
‫LURED ME IN ‫WITH THE SUGARY, FRIED TREATS,
‫MADE ME FEEL ACCEPTED, ‫AND THEN, SLOWLY BUT SURELY,
‫I STARTED JUDGING ANYONE ‫WHO DRANK COKE
‫AND DIDN'T WEAR BLOOMERS.
‫IT'S A SLIPPERY SLOPE, J.
‫RELIGION IS ALL ABOUT PREYING ‫ON THE WEAK,
‫AND YOU, MY FRIEND--
‫YOU'RE AN EASY TARGET.
‫- WHILE I WASN'T CONVINCED
‫THAT RELIGION WAS ‫ABOUT EXPLOITING THE WEAK,
‫IN MY VULNERABLE STATE, ‫I COULDN'T TAKE THE RISK.
‫I'D HAVE TO FIND ANOTHER WAY ‫TO SOOTHE MY SOUL.
‫AND IF I WASN'T GOING ‫TO LEAN ON JESUS,
‫I'D LEAN ON JAKE.
‫- DUDE, SHE WAS JUST ‫CHECKING YOU OUT.
‫- YEAH, SO?
‫- SO SHE'S HOT, RIGHT?
‫DUDE, YOU GOTTA GET ‫OUT OF THIS FUNK.
‫- I WILL, ‫I JUST NEED SOME TIME.
‫- PLEASE DON'T TALK ‫ABOUT THAT GIRL AGAIN.
‫- HEY. ‫- LET'S JUST DROP IT.
‫- OH, HEY, BABE.
‫MATTY NEEDS A COOL GIRL'S ‫POINT OF VIEW ON SOMETHING.
‫- NAH, I DON'T. ‫- HE DOES.
‫HE'S BEEN TOTALLY FIXATING ‫ON SOME LAME GIRL.
‫- I DIDN'T SAY SHE WAS LAME. ‫- NO, I DID.
‫- IF MATTY WAS GOING TO FIXATE ‫ON A NEW GIRL,
‫I'M GLAD JAKE THOUGHT ‫SHE WAS LAME.
‫- THEY'VE BEEN FLIRTING ‫AND HOOKING UP,
‫AND NOW SHE'S TOTALLY ‫DISSING HIM.
‫- TO BE FAIR, ‫BEEN NON-COMMITTAL.
‫- MATTY WAS UP ‫TO HIS OLD TRICKS.
‫AND WHILE I DIDN'T WANT ‫TO HEAR THE DETAILS,
‫IT WAS NICE TO KNOW ‫IT WASN'T ABOUT ME.
‫- SHE'S BEEN LEADING HIM ON ‫SINCE THE SUMMER.
‫- SO IT WAS ABOUT ME.
‫- AND THEN SHE DITCHED HIM ‫OVER BREAK FOR SOME OTHER DUDE.
‫SHE'S A BITCH.
‫- I DIDN'T SAY ‫SHE WAS A BITCH.
‫- WILL YOU STOP ‫DEFENDING HER?
‫TWO MINUTES AGO, YOU SAID ‫YOU FELT BETRAYED.
‫TELL HIM. ‫SHE'S A BITCH, RIGHT?
‫- SHE'S A BITCH.
‫AND A RELATIONSHIP ASSASSIN.
‫NOT ONLY HAD I SPLIT UP ‫MY PARENTS,
‫BUT I'D COME PRECARIOUSLY CLOSE ‫TO ENDING A FRIENDSHIP.
‫JAKE'S JUDGMENT HAD ONLY FURTHER ‫CEMENTED MY FIRST INSTINCT.
‫I WAS A BAD PERSON, ‫AND I NEEDED TO REDEEM MYSELF.
‫- I GOT THE ANSWER ‫TO ALL YOUR PROBLEMS.
‫A DOUBLE DATE THIS WEEKEND. ‫I'M GOING TO FIX YOU UP.
‫- I CAN'T. ‫I'M GOING TO CHURCH CAMP.
‫[upbeat music]
‫*
‫- ARE YOU SURE YOU WANT ‫TO DO THIS?
‫- YES. ‫- BUT YOU DON'T KNOW ANYBODY.
‫YOU'RE GOING TO BE ALONE. ‫YOU ARE NOT GOOD AT BEING ALONE.
‫NO, MOM, ‫THAT WOULD BE YOU.
‫THE RETREAT WAS EXACTLY WHAT ‫I NEEDED TO CLEAR MY CONSCIENCE.
‫PEOPLE WEREN'T JUDGEY, ‫THEY WERE HANDSY.
‫OOH.
‫AND CONSIDERING ALL THE ACTION ‫I WAS GETTING ON THE BUS,
‫THERE WAS A SOLID CHANCE
‫I WOULD FIND COMFORT ‫BEING EMBRACED
‫BY A COMMUNITY OF LOVING, ‫AFFECTIONATE--
‫HATERS.
‫- HO-BAGS ARE RELEGATED ‫TO THE BACK OF THE BUS.
‫all: LET'S GO, JESUS, ‫LET'S GO!
‫T, SADIE'S HERE!
‫I NEED YOU TO STEAL ‫YOUR MOM'S CAR
‫AND COME RESCUE ME. ‫- I'M ON LOCKDOWN, REMEMBER?
‫CAN YOU CALL YOUR MOM? ‫- SHE'S NOT PICKING UP.
‫I CAME HERE ‫FOR PEACE OF MIND,
‫AND THAT'S THE LAST THING ‫I'M GOING TO GET
‫WITH THAT BITCH BY MY BUNK. ‫- [gasps]
‫DO YOU THINK KYLE ‫DRIVES A PRIUS?
‫- KYLE? ‫I-I DON'T KNOW.
‫- SO HE COULD DRIVE A PRIUS.
‫- I'M LOST. ‫WHAT ARE WE TALKING ABOUT?
‫- REMEMBER HIS SHIRT? ‫"TAKE IT OUTSIDE"?
‫I REALIZED WHERE I KNOW ‫THAT FROM--MY MOUTH.
‫THAT'S WHAT I SAID ‫TO RICKY SCHWARTZ
‫WHEN I PULLED MY FREAK-A-DEAK ‫AT THE ASSEMBLY.
‫KYLE'S MOVED ON ‫FROM STALKING YOU
‫TO STALKING ME!
‫- T., HOLD ON A SECOND.
‫CONTINUE.
‫- UNDER NORMAL CIRCUMSTANCES, ‫I'D BE INTO HAVING A CREEPER.
‫BUT I WENT ON KYLE'S PAGE, ‫AND UNDER INTERESTS,
‫HE HAS "TAKE IT OUTSIDE" ‫AS A CLUB.
‫HE STARTED A CLUB, JENNA.
‫- OKAY, THE KYLE SITCH ‫DEFINITELY WARRANTS ATTENTION,
‫BUT IF I DON'T GET ‫OUT OF HERE SOON,
‫I'M GOING TO HAVE ‫TO MAN VS. WILD IT.
‫I'D RATHER BRAVE ‫THE ELEMENTS
‫THAN SPEND 48 HOURS ‫WITH SATAN SAXTON.
‫CALL ME IF YOU HAVE ANY ‫BRAINSTORMS ON HOW TO ESCAPE.
‫GOTTA GO.
‫[alternative music]
‫*
‫- HEY, COME LOOK ‫AT SOMETHING.
‫- WHAT? ‫- THIS.
‫STAY AWAY FROM LISSA.
‫SHE'S NOT YOUR FRIEND.
‫SHE'S MINE. ‫- JENNA!
‫- YOU'RE SAVED.
‫- WHERE AM I SLEEPING? ‫- ON THE FLOOR.
‫- SADIE, YOU'RE BEING ‫UN-CHRISTIAN.
‫- GOD, WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME? ‫I'M HERE, AREN'T I?
‫- PHYSICALLY YOU'RE HERE,
‫BUT SPIRITUALLY, ‫YOU'RE, LIKE, IN CANADA.
‫APOLOGIZE.
‫- SORRY. ‫- SADIE WILL SHARE HER BUNK.
‫- I'LL SLEEP ON THE FLOOR. ‫- YOU DON'T WANT TO DO THAT.
‫THERE ARE MICE AND SPIDERS. ‫- AND IT STILL REEKS OF VOMIT
‫FROM LAST YEAR'S CAMP-WIDE ‫FOOD POISONING.
‫- NOT A GOOD YEAR ‫FOR THE TACO PARTY.
‫- LOOKING FOR T.P.? ‫- NO, I'M LOOKING FOR A RIDE.
‫- YOU CAN'T GO HOME YET. ‫- SADIE SAXTON IS IN MY CABIN.
‫- OH, WELL, ‫YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SAY.
‫"WHAT DOESN'T KILL YOU ‫ONLY MAKES YOU STRONGER."
‫- I WOULDN'T PUT IT PAST HER ‫TO SMOTHER ME IN MY SLEEP.
‫- DON'T LET SADIE ‫SPOIL THE RETREAT.
‫SHE COULD'VE RUINED ‫MY EXPERIENCE,
‫BUT I DIDN'T LET HER. ‫- WHAT DID SHE DO TO YOU?
‫- SHE OUTED ME.
‫LAST YEAR NO ONE KNEW ‫I WAS GAY.
‫- I THINK WE ALL KNEW.
‫- COME ON. ‫TONED IT DOWN A BIT.
‫- EXCEPT FOR THE BACKPACK.
‫- GIRL'S GOTTA HAVE ‫SOME PINK.
‫- SO YOU BELIEVE IN BEING ‫A GLUTTON FOR PUNISHMENT.
‫I DON'T. ‫- NO.
‫I BELIEVE IN RESPECT ‫AND TOLERANCE.
‫TO ME, THAT'S WHAT CHRISTIANITY ‫IS ALL ABOUT.
‫- BUT THIS PLACE ONLY TEACHES ‫ADAM AND EVE,
‫NOT ADAM AND STEVE.
‫- I'M NOT TOTALLY SOLD
‫ON THE WHOLE ‫"JESUS BEING STRAIGHT" THING--
‫ALL THAT TIME ‫IN THE DESERT
‫WITH 12 DUDES ‫AND NO WOMEN.
‫- THAT'S BLASPHEMY.
‫- JUST SAYING.
‫- CLARK, I REALLY NEED ‫TO GET OUT OF HERE.
‫THIS WHOLE THING WAS ‫AN IMPULSE DECISION.
‫I ONLY CAME HERE ‫BECAUSE I WAS FEELING
‫REALLY CRAPPY ABOUT MYSELF, ‫AND I WAS DESPERATE
‫FOR SOMETHING TO MAKE ME ‫FEEL BETTER, BUT THIS AIN'T IT.
‫- NO ONE IS GOING TO MAKE YOU ‫HAVE A BAD EXPERIENCE
‫UNLESS YOU LET THEM. ‫STAY.
‫DON'T BE A PUSSY.
‫- ARE YOU ON THE PAYROLL?
‫- I SHOULD BE.
‫[cell phone rings]
‫- OKAY.
‫I'M IN, ‫BUT I'M GOING TO NEED A COT.
‫[beep] ‫- SORRY I MISSED YOUR CALL,
‫HONEY, I WAS BLASTING THE RADIO ‫AND DIDN'T HEAR MY PHONE.
‫I JUST NEED THE ADDRESS, ‫AND I'LL PICK YOU UP.
‫IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT TIME.
‫I PUT MY CELL ON LOUD,
‫AND I'M JUST GOING TO KEEP ‫LOOKING AT IT UNTIL YOU CALL.
‫- A GLASS OF WINE?
‫- OH, NO, I'M-- ‫I WON'T BE HERE LONG.
‫I'M GETTING SOMETHING TO GO.
‫- SOMEONE SENT IT OVER. ‫- JENNA'S MOM!
‫JENNA'S COUNSELOR.
‫COUNSELOR/VICE PRINCIPAL.
‫I'M KIND OF DOING BOTH JOBS ‫RIGHT NOW
‫TILL WE FIND A REPLACEMENT.
‫WHAT ARE YOU DOING, ‫THE OLD SHAME GRAB-AND-GO?
‫- [laughs] ‫THERE'S NO SHAME IN IT.
‫I'M ALONE FOR THE WEEKEND.
‫- OH, I HEARD.
‫JENNA'S DAD LEFT YOU ‫HIGH AND DRY, HUH?
‫- NO, WE'RE JUST ‫TAKING A BREAK,
‫BUT IT'S AN ADJUSTMENT.
‫IT'S BEEN A WHILE ‫SINCE I'VE BEEN ON MY OWN.
‫- WELL, WHY NOT EAT HERE?
‫- NAH, I DON'T NEED ‫ALL THE STARES.
‫- OH, I GET IT.
‫I GET IT. ‫YOU'RE AFRAID.
‫- I'M NOT. I JUST DON'T ‫LIKE TO EAT ALONE IN PUBLIC.
‫- PERSONALLY, ‫I FIND IT EMPOWERING.
‫SOMETIMES I LIKE TO PRETEND ‫I'M A FLIGHT ATTENDANT
‫ON A LAYOVER, ‫AND I ONLY HAVE A FEW HOURS
‫BEFORE I HOP ON MY RED-EYE ‫TO BARCELONA.
‫TAKE A SIP. ‫I DARE YA.
‫OR YOU CAN POUND IT.
‫- OOH.
‫[upbeat religious music]
‫*
‫- WHERE'S YOUR COSTUME, JENNA?
‫- OH, SHE IS THE SERPENT ‫WHO TEMPTED ADAM AND EVE
‫AND RUINED PARADISE.
‫- LIKE I SAID, ‫WHERE'S THE COSTUME?
‫- WHAT ARE YOU? ‫SAINT OR SINNER?
‫- I'M A PREGNANT WOMAN ‫WHO CLAIMS SHE'S A VIRGIN, SO...
‫DECIDE FOR YOURSELF.
‫*
‫- THIS IS NOT ‫WHAT I EXPECTED.
‫I THOUGHT THE RETREAT WOULD BE ‫ALL ABOUT TRUST FALLS
‫AND WORSHIP. ‫- HOW'S THAT FOR A TRUST FALL?
‫- OH!
‫- I KNOW IT'LL BE HARD, ‫BUT BY THE END OF THIS DANCE,
‫YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO...
‫- STOP WORSHIPPING ME. ‫- YOU LEFT ME 20 MESSAGES.
‫- OH, DON'T TRY TO CHANGE ‫THE SUBJECT.
‫DO YOU THINK I'M AN IDIOT?
‫- COULD BE. ‫I DON'T KNOW YOU.
‫- I KNOW YOU KNOW I COINED ‫"TAKE IT OUTSIDE."
‫EVERYONE AT SCHOOL DOES.
‫I SAID IT WHEN I PUBLICLY ‫HATED-BERATED RICKY SCHWARTZ.
‫- WHO?
‫- IF YOU WANT TO PLAY DUMB,
‫COULD YOU AT LEAST HAVE ‫THE DECENCY
‫TO MAKE THE SHIRTS ‫IN A COLOR
‫THAT WOULD HIGHLIGHT ‫MY UNDERTONES?
‫WHICH, FOR FUTURE REF, ‫WOULD BE PURPLE OR TEAL.
‫- QUITTING SKYPE.
‫- I'M ORDERING YOU TO CEASE ‫AND DESIST.
‫AND UNTIL YOU DO, ‫I WANT A CUT OF THOSE SHIRTS!
‫[scoffs] ‫WHAT THE HELL?
‫[dance music]
‫- OH, CRAP, ‫I FORGOT I HAVE DINING DUTY.
‫- NO! REMEMBER THE LAST TIME ‫YOU LEFT ME ALONE WITH EVE?
‫THINGS GOT MESSY. ‫- YOU'LL BE FINE.
‫- SHARE CIRCLE! ‫[cheering]
‫- WHAT'S SHARE CIRCLE?
‫[ominous music]
‫- BUT AFTER MY THIRD TIME ‫IN REHAB,
‫I FINALLY TRADED DRUGS ‫FOR JESUS.
‫- LET US PRAY ‫WITH THE LAYING OF HANDS.
‫- I MADE A LOT OF MISTAKES ‫THIS YEAR.
‫AFTER SOME BAD ADVICE ‫FROM A FRIEND,
‫I BROKE MY PURITY PLEDGE... ‫WITH MY HANDS.
‫I GAVE MY EX COUNTLESS ‫RUB-AND-TUGS.
‫ACTUALLY, I DID COUNT. ‫IT WAS 47.
‫- I WASN'T SURE ‫WHAT WAS MORE DISTURBING.
‫LISSA GOING INTO GRAPHIC DETAIL ‫ABOUT HANDIES
‫OR HEARING THAT MY BOYFRIEND WAS ‫ON THE OTHER END OF HER HAND.
‫- I DON'T THINK HAND LOVE ‫IS A SIN.
‫- WELL, YOU MAY NOT ‫PERSONALLY THINK SO,
‫BUT CORINTHIANS SAYS ‫THAT ALL THE STUFF
‫LEADING UP TO SEX SHOULD ‫ONLY HAPPEN INSIDE MARRIAGE.
‫- CORINTHIANS GOT MARRIED ‫AT 12.
‫- GOD WILL FORGIVE YOU ‫IF YOU FORGIVE YOUR FRIEND.
‫- LET US-- ‫WAIT.
‫ARE YOU A RIGHTY OR A LEFTY?
‫- RIGHTY.
‫THANKS.
‫IT'S A LOT TO OVERCOME, ‫BUT I'M ON MY PATH.
‫- THERE WAS NO DOUBT ‫THE SHARE CIRCLE WAS CATHARTIC
‫FOR THOSE WILLING TO BARE ALL, ‫AND FOR ONCE,
‫IT WAS NICE TO BE ‫OUT OF THE SPOTLIGHT.
‫- SPEAKING OF OVERCOMING,
‫JENNA, HOW DID YOU OVERCOME ‫YOUR SUICIDE ATTEMPT?
‫I DIDN'T TRY TO COMMIT SUICIDE!
‫IT WAS AN ACCIDENT ‫AND A RUMOR.
‫- COME ON, JENNA, ‫YOU'RE AMONG FRIENDS.
‫- IF YOU ASK GOD ‫FOR FORGIVENESS,
‫YOU'LL BE FORGIVEN.
‫- THERE IS NO SHAME ‫IN CONFESSING.
‫- I DON'T HAVE ANYTHING ‫TO CONFESS.
‫- UH-OH. [giggles] ‫ISN'T LYING A SIN TOO?
‫- THIS IS SERIOUS.
‫YOU HAVE TO ASK FOR FORGIVENESS, ‫OR YOU'LL GO TO HELL.
‫ETERNAL LAKE OF FIRE ‫[raspy] HELL.
‫- SHE DIDN'T COMMIT SUICIDE; ‫SHE JUST ATTEMPTED IT.
‫- THEN I GUESS ‫SHE'S GOING TO PURGATORY.
‫- DIDN'T THEY GET RID ‫OF PURGATORY, OR WAS THAT LIMBO?
‫- SHE CAN'T GO TO LIMBO. ‫THAT'S FOR UNBAPTIZED BABIES.
‫- THAT IS PERFECT ‫FOR JENNA.
‫SHE WAS AN ACCIDENT.
‫- INSTEAD OF BEING REDEEMED, ‫I WAS CRUCIFIED.
‫AND I COULDN'T WAIT THREE DAYS ‫FOR MY RESURRECTION.
‫I LOVE SATAN. ‫- [gasps]
‫- I LOVE SATAN! ‫I LOVE...
‫- SEITAN. ‫- OH.
‫- IT'S LIKE TOFU. ‫- MMM.
‫IT'S LIKE FOOD, ‫BUT NOT.
‫- MM-HMM.
‫- WOULD YOU LIKE ANOTHER GLASS ‫OF WINE?
‫- MM. ‫[snaps fingers]
‫- WHOO! ‫- YES...I WOULD.
‫- DO YOU TWO WANT TO SHARE ‫A TABLE?
‫both: NO.
‫- I'M EATING ALONE.
‫- OKAY. ‫- OKAY.
‫- SO ANOTHER TRICK ‫TO THE "EATING ALONE" TRADE...
‫- MM-HMM. ‫- IS ABOUT THE READING MATERIAL.
‫SURE, YOU LOOK COOL
‫READING HEMINGWAY... ‫- [scoffs]
‫- BUT IT IS IMPOSSIBLE ‫TO HOLD
‫A BOOK AND EAT ‫AT THE SAME TIME,
‫SO I LIKE TO DINE ‫WITH MY PARENTS.
‫[laughter] ‫- WILL THERE BE ANYTHING ELSE?
‫- [gasps] ‫I WILL HAVE A CAPPUCCINO.
‫both: OOH!
‫- THE STUDENT HAS SURPASSED ‫THE TEACHER.
‫I, SIR, WILL HAVE ONE TOO.
‫- I DID IT! ‫I HAD DINNER ALONE!
‫[sighs] ‫I'M GOING TO BE OKAY.
‫YOU KNOW, I NEVER THOUGHT ‫THAT I COULD BE BY MYSELF,
‫BUT BEING HERE...
‫WITH YOU... ‫- OH.
‫- ALONE, ‫I PROVED IT.
‫GOD, I'M GOOD ON MY OWN.
‫- YOU ARE.
‫IN FACT, YOU ARE SO GOOD
‫THAT YOU WON'T EVEN FLINCH ‫IF A FRIEND
‫OR AN ACQUAINTANCE ‫STARTS DATING YOUR HUSBAND.
‫[laughs]
‫- JENNA?
‫I'M SO SORRY THAT YOU GOT PUT ‫IN THE HOT SEAT.
‫FOR WHAT IT'S WORTH, I DON'T ‫THINK YOU'RE GOING TO HELL.
‫UNLESS YOU REALLY ‫LOVE SATAN.
‫- YOU'RE A REALLY ‫GOOD PERSON.
‫- I AM? ‫- YES.
‫IF THE ROLES HAD BEEN REVERSED ‫WITH THE WHOLE JAKE SITCH,
‫I DON'T KNOW IF I'D HAVE BEEN ‫AS EASILY FORGIVING.
‫- WE ALL MAKE MISTAKES,
‫BUT GOD GIVES US THE OPPORTUNITY ‫TO LEARN FROM THEM.
‫FORGIVING OTHER PEOPLE
‫IS THE EASY PART ‫OF THE PROCESS.
‫IT'S LEARNING HOW TO FORGIVE ‫OURSELVES THAT'S HARD.
‫- IT WAS TRUE.
‫LISSA WAS FAR WISER ‫THAN PEOPLE KNEW.
‫- I BETTER GET BACK TO ‫SHARE CIRCLE AND EXPLAIN THINGS.
‫BECAUSE IF PEOPLE HAVE DIFFERENT ‫INTERPRETATIONS OF THE BIBLE,
‫CHRISTIANITY ‫WILL NEVER SURVIVE.
‫[laughter]
‫[car horn honks]
‫[alternative music]
‫*
‫- YOU GOOD?
‫- YEP. ‫- ME TOO.
‫I'M A TOTAL PRO ‫AT ROLLING SOLO.
‫IN FACT, ‫I'M GOING TO GO WATCH TV...
‫ALONE... ‫AND ENJOY IT.
‫SEE, THAT RIGHT THERE IS WHAT ‫THEY DON'T TEACH YOU IN CHURCH.
‫IT'S CALLED...
‫EVOLUTION.
‫*
‫- AND LIKE MY MOM, ‫I HAD SOMEHOW EVOLVED TOO.
‫WHILE I HAD BEEN SEEKING ‫ABSOLUTION FROM A HIGHER POWER,
‫WHAT I REALLY NEEDED ‫WAS TO ABSOLVE MYSELF.
‫FOR THE FIRST TIME ‫SINCE MY PARENTS' SPLIT,
‫I DIDN'T FEEL SO ALONE.
‫[computer tone]
‫*
‫[computer tone]
‫-SO CAMP WASN'T ALL BAD? ‫-AND, IT WASN'T ALL GOOD. ‫BUT I WAS REMINDED BY SOMETHING
‫I HADN'T REALIZED WAS MISSING ‫FROM MY LIFE.
‫COMPASSION.
‫- CONGRATULATIONS.
‫BUT I'M NOT ‫AS ENLIGHTENED AS YOU.
‫IF YOU AND YOUR PSYCHO FRIENDS ‫WANT TO WORSHIP ME,
‫THEN YOU MIGHT AS WELL HAVE ‫SOME DECENT PICTURES
‫AND ACCURATE INFO.
‫- WHOA. ‫YOU NEED TO TAKE IT OUTSIDE.
‫- DON'T TELL ME ‫TO TAKE IT OUTSIDE.
‫THAT'S MY JOB.
‫TAKE THIS. ‫- I DON'T GET IT.
‫- IT'S PERTINENT INFORMATION ‫FOR YOUR "CLUB."
‫EVERYTHING FROM MY CURRENT ‫FACEBOOK INTERESTS
‫ALL THE WAY BACK ‫TO MY FIFTH GRADE MYSPACE PAGE.
‫- TAKE IT OUTSIDE ‫IS FOR LONELY KIDS
‫WHO SPEND TOO MUCH TIME ‫ON THEIR COMPUTERS.
‫YOU SHOULD JOIN.
‫[quirky music]
‫*
‫- WE CAN BE FRIENDS. ‫- REALLY?
‫- THIS WEEKEND, I REALIZED JESUS ‫PUT YOU IN MY LIFE AS A TEST.
‫AND WHILE HIS CLASS ‫IS TOTALLY HARD,
‫AND THERE ARE ‫NO CLIFF NOTES,
‫AND IN REAL LIFE, I'VE NEVER ‫GOTTEN ABOVE A B-MINUS,
‫I'M DETERMINED ‫TO GET AN "A."
‫- WHATEVER WORKS FOR YOU. ‫ANYWAY, YOU SHOULD KNOW THAT,
‫WHILE YOU WERE ‫IN COUPLES COUNSELING WITH J.C.,
‫AMY SNAKED YOUR SPOT ‫IN THE PYRAMID.
‫- I'LL PRAY ON IT.
‫RIGHT AFTER I TAKE ‫THAT SKANK DOWN.
‫H-HI.
‫UH, HOW WAS YOUR WEEKEND?
‫- CATHARTIC.
‫YOURS? ‫- NOT.
‫I AM SORRY ABOUT FRIDAY.
‫I WASN'T RAILING ‫ON YOU TO JAKE.
‫I DON'T THINK YOU'RE LAME ‫OR A BITCH,
‫AND I'VE JUST BEEN ‫FEELING LIKE CRAP
‫THINKING THAT ‫YOU THINK I THINK THAT.
‫DID THAT ‫EVEN MAKE SENSE?
‫- I GUESS WE BOTH ‫HAD BEEN GOING THROUGH
‫OUR OWN CRISIS ‫OF CONSCIENCE.
‫YOU DON'T NEED TO APOLOGIZE.
‫THINGS HAVE BEEN WEIRD... ‫FOR BOTH OF US.
‫TRUCE?
‫- TRUCE.
‫- I WASN'T ‫THE ONLY THING EVOLVING.
‫MY RELATIONSHIP ‫WITH MATTY WAS TOO.
‫- HEY. ‫- HEY.
‫- I HAD FAITH THAT MATTY AND I ‫HAD THE POTENTIAL
‫TO BE FRIENDS.
‫[alternative music]
‫*
‫IN THE VERY DISTANT FUTURE.
‫NEXT ON AWKWARD
‫I NEED SOME ADVICE. ‫WHAT MAKES A PERFECT DATE FOR A ‫VALENTINE?
‫- MATTY AND THAT FRESHMAN-- ‫ARE THEY DATING?
‫- DATING? ‫NO.
‫- HAVE YOU GUYS SEEN THAT GIRL ‫MATTY'S BEEN HANGING OUT WITH?
‫- YES. ‫- YES.
‫- DO YOU THINK SHE'S ATTRACTIVE?
‫- YES. ‫- YES.
‫- MY FRIENDS ARE ALLOWED ‫TO MAKE NEW FRIENDS.
‫IT'S JUST THAT THIS NEW FRIEND ‫DOESN'T REALLY
‫MEET MY OLD FRIEND'S STANDARDS.
‫- THEN WHY DO YOU SEEM ‫SO JEALOUS?
‫- I'M NOT JEALOUS!